Okay, since I have once again slacked on my blogging efforts I’m writing another one to try and tell myself that i need to blog more. We’ll see how that works…lol.
Since about 4 months after my wedding I’ve been really depressed. And really the only thing I am depressed about is my appearance. Since my wedding I’ve gained a lot of weight, and its taken away who I am. Usually I am an outgoing bubbly person who loves to laugh and go on adventures. Now I am quiet, shy, self conscious, girl who doesn’t like to even take her dog for a walk because she is afraid of what people will think of her. So now I am on a mission to get myself back! And I WILL do it! Over the last couple years I’ve slacked on my hair, my body (my weight especially), my teeth (lol) my clothes, and pretty much everything. I am determined to get healthy, stay healthy, and have fun in the process.
Which leads me to my next subject. There are some exciting things that are happening in my life right now. Like I said above, I am going to be working on getting myself back and to do that I am going to start going to the gym every day that I can. I’m looking to go at 5:30am, I’ve done it probably 3 times and I can’t tell you how good I feel the rest of the day. When I get back from work all I want to do is make dinner and relax, so working out after work is SSOOO hard. I’m also going to get a tanning pass at Crossroads Fitness (my gym) so I can work on my tan. And let me just tell you, tanning helps me in so many ways. Its bad for you I know, but it helps with my depression, makes me look skinnier (lol) and it helps with my self esteem. But I’m going to promise right now that I wont get carried away and turn into those girls we’ve all seen, that look like a walking leather strap. Hahah.
I’m so excited for spring to be here so I can get my yard cleaned up!! I’m going to build a fire pit, put up a hammock, get a garden going, and fix up the outside of the house..in needs something, I HATE the paint and it needs some different siding. I’m actually excited to mow the lawn and weed whack! Is that weird? Lol.
Another thing that I am excited for is the church. I know I haven’t been one to go to church and be super spiritual, and ya know basically I’ve had some problems with drinking and drugs, but to tell you the truth. I’M DONE!! It’s just not fun for me anymore. There are more important things in life than that. First thing we’re going to do is get on the track of being sealed in the temple. I’ve been worrying a lot lately that if something happens to either one of us, we would never see each other again, and that scares me. I love my husband more than anything, and the thing that is most important to me is being with him for eternity. So that’s what we’re going to do, and I am SO excited for that. But I am scared at the same time. There are a bunch of people that I’m close with that don’t go to church. And that’s okay. I just don’t want any of them to judge me for it. If they do, I guess its their choice. But there is nothing wrong with people that go to church and live through the gospel. And I just want those people to know that being active in the church will not hurt our friendship :) I love everyone! (Minus Robin from work, he can jump off a cliff) lol
That reminds me. This past week at work has been so hard. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, my co-worker Hollie and I, have gotten into some huge fights with the artist. He has said such mean and hurtful things to her and I. It’s so hard to be here, knowing that someone in the work place is doing what they can to see you lose your job. Its so disheartening, especially in a time like this when I am trying to change my life. I don’t even want to put on here what he said about me, but let me just tell you, it’s going to take me a while to be able to forgive him.
Anyways onto a better note, we finally took Titan to the vet to see what was wrong with his ear. He actually has a yeast infection in both ears poor Buggy! I love him so much and I hate when he gets sick or there is something wrong with him. Hopefully the stuff the vet gave us works so he will stop itching his ears and shaking his head! (it gets really annoying when you are trying to sleep lol)
I really think I have typed a novel today so I think I will end my blog there. Some good/bad happening right now, but let’s just say that things are definitely looking up for us! :)
-Jaimie
